I guess now that I'm officially married and have been since July, I should probably do what boring married people do best. Spill my uncensored thoughts online in what I would proclaim as an "edgy and inspiring heartfelt journal of my life-musings" Sound about right? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyway. This year has been a busy one. Besides getting married. I got a promotion, then later found another job. I also bought a new car and sold my truck that I kept for 10 years! So wouldn't you think that life is just peachy? Well it is, but really, my new job has given me a lot of time to think about just how important work really is in the larger picture. It isn't. It's just a job, it's how you pay your bills. It's your life that's really important. So I've recently began attempting to figure out what I really want to do with my life. That's the hard part.
I had a bunch of goals as a kid: Graduate college, get a good paying job, buy a house, get the car that I've been drooling over, date a lot of hot girls, and marry the most beautiful one inside and out and then have kids. A couple months ago, I realized that I had accomplished all my goals, well minus the kids part. I thought to myself "is this it? What do I do now?" I couldn't really think of anything. So here I am today, thinking again, is this it? I know it's not, but why don't I see the next step. I mean technically, I could just do what I am doing and just coast through life, but the ego inside of me makes me want to do something, anything that has some sort of meaning, something that will make me say at the end of my life "my life mattered"
We're all so insignificant when you really think about how big the world or even the universe is. This insignificance can sometimes put me in a rut. I want to feel like I was put here for something. I mean to be an engineer and buy a nice car and get married, is that why I was put here? Anybody could've done that. What am I supposed to do? I suppose I need to ask God. In all honesty, that scares me. What if I don't hear an answer, what if I don't like what I hear? I mean I'd hate to hear that my purpose was to be a run-of-the-mill regular person, who didn't really apply himself most of his life, but once he brought some sad person true happiness. Sure that's great in all, but I still want to think that I was put here for something more.
I guess somebody might tell me, life is what I make of it. So maybe my ultimate goal should be really be to just live in the moment and see the glass half full. Maybe today, that will be my first step. Today is a good day.
