Dear America

I have come to the realization that I need your help in a problem of utmost importance. I, a lover of this great country, have found myself in quite a pickle! Because of this fearful economy, my company has refused to give raises this year. and I need you all to stop being afraid that the economy will eat you alive and start working hard and start spending more money, w/o using credit! I know I know, everybody uses credit cards, but seriously, they're bad! Friends don't let friends use credit cards!

You see once you start spending all your extra cash, all the fancy high paid economists and stock traders will all start thinking the whole economy thing is fixed. And you see when they see that, my company will start to think that as well! and you see once they see that, I'll get my deserved promotion and raise!!!

Now you say, "c'mon are you serious dude?" yes! Being the warm blooded American that I am, I want to show my support for this country. And the best way I can think to do this, is to buy a good ol' classic American car brought back to life. And that car is the 2010 Camaro RS/SS with a manual transmission in Auqa blue. But I can't do that until I get a promotion as my current balance sheet won't allow me to pay for such a beautiful example of a performance car. Now, don't get me wrong, wanting a car so badly is awfully consumerist, and I realize this, but I'm only trying to support the economy!!! Don't you want me to support the economy? I know you do, and you should want to support the economy too!


P.S. If you would rather, I'm also accepting shameless donations!

post fest!

So since it's been so long since I've had a blog, I'm going crazy with the posts today.

I love my truck because it hasn't gotten me killed even with my crazy driving at times. So I've decided to write it a letter.

To My Truck,

We've had good times together. I drove you to prom. We went to college together. We even did donuts in the snow on the old baseball field. The times we've had together have been filled with joy, laughter, anger, tears, sadness, and just about any other emotion to be had. You were my first vehicle, and for that you will always have a special place on my key chain. But with all things, change is inevitable.

You're starting to grow old and you just don't drive like you used to. You make funny noises when turning, and you pull to the left randomly while driving. Your power steering whines like it's going to die at various times and it won't stop whining even if the wheels are not turned. Your shifter comes off when I change gears, and your clutch is just about worn. You even smell like must now since I left your back window open during the rain. My senses and my heart is sorry for making you smell so bad. But all this means that every day, I think about moving on. I need to get something new.

In 2001, your 20mpg was great because gas was only $1.20/gallon, but now that it's pushing $4, it's getting harder and harder to ignore how much you guzzle. And I know it's not your fault. That's just how you were made. Rusty tail pipes and all. I hope you can understand that it's not you, it's me. I don't deserve you anymore, it was a good run, but I think it would be better for us both if I moved on.

Yours Forever,