Money

Why does money have such a great importance in my life? I wish I could figure that one out. Is it because there are so many "things" that I give such a high importance? Is it because I don't like the feeling that if something, anything, happened that I didn't plan It could put me in the poor house? Or is it because I just feel like I could do so much better for myself and my future?

I guess it's probably a combination of those things and a few more. I wish I could just stop worrying about it though. Something keeps nagging me that life just isn't right where I am. And the only things I can really think that I am worried about just boil down to money. I didn't get a raise this year. I may get laid off. I need a new car (well want). Motorcycles are so fun, and I want a more reliable one. I want kids, but they're expensive. I want to get married some day, but engagement rings and weddings are expensive. My house doesn't have a deck, seeded back yard, enough windows, and the hot water in the shower sucks. My sink drains, also, don't drain very well. So much for buying "new" to avoid the problems of an old house. I feel like I need to upgrade already because many things don't work as well as they did in my apartment and aesthetically, I feel depressed because I can't afford to buy the visually appealing upgrades that I want. I want to travel and get away from everything I've known my whole life. I want to hide in my own box. I don't want to fail. So I don't want to try. I want to exist without worry.

Why do I let so many things bother me? I have a girlfriend that loves me deeply. My whole family is healthy and happy. I am an engineer. Most people would love to have a job that pays as well as mine out of college. But I want more. Why? Why can't I just be happy. It's money. I know it now. Money is said to be the root of all evil, but for me it is just the root of my sadness.

Last weekend

I had an action packed weekend. That's for sure! On Friday my sister came to visit and we went to K's sister's birthday party. It wasn't the most fun party ever, but it was something to do, and there was Italian Beef and plenty of desserts! We played catchphrase for awhile. That game is always fun.

On Saturday we went to the Garfield Conservatory Garden and pretended that it was summer! I got a lot of good pictures that day. There really are a lot of amazing plants out there. After that we went to dinner at Penang. We got 3 apetizers and 3 meals. We were so full afterward! I got this one pork chop dish that had the most tender pork chop! It was one of the chef's specials. But I can't remember the name of it for the life of me. We also had some skirt steak dish and a seafood yam pot. After dinner we went to the mall and K and my sister went shopping like they have never shopped before. Ok maybe not, but they had fun. I sat in a massage chair at Brookstone. At night we went to a dueling piano bar called Howl at the moon and we had a bucket of Hurricaine Rush (I think) We partied like it was 1997. So in other words, normally :P

Sunday we went to church. Everybody got lost or lost something except me. My sister got stuck in a one way traffic pattern. I couldn't find her for 30 minutes. She even bought a pay-as-you-go phone to call me! Kristin also lost her work cell phone. boo! After my sister headed back home K and I went to a superbowl party and ate pulled pork sandwiches. MMM MMM. Then the weekend ended. Fun times were to be had by all.