Money

Why does money have such a great importance in my life? I wish I could figure that one out. Is it because there are so many "things" that I give such a high importance? Is it because I don't like the feeling that if something, anything, happened that I didn't plan It could put me in the poor house? Or is it because I just feel like I could do so much better for myself and my future?

I guess it's probably a combination of those things and a few more. I wish I could just stop worrying about it though. Something keeps nagging me that life just isn't right where I am. And the only things I can really think that I am worried about just boil down to money. I didn't get a raise this year. I may get laid off. I need a new car (well want). Motorcycles are so fun, and I want a more reliable one. I want kids, but they're expensive. I want to get married some day, but engagement rings and weddings are expensive. My house doesn't have a deck, seeded back yard, enough windows, and the hot water in the shower sucks. My sink drains, also, don't drain very well. So much for buying "new" to avoid the problems of an old house. I feel like I need to upgrade already because many things don't work as well as they did in my apartment and aesthetically, I feel depressed because I can't afford to buy the visually appealing upgrades that I want. I want to travel and get away from everything I've known my whole life. I want to hide in my own box. I don't want to fail. So I don't want to try. I want to exist without worry.

Why do I let so many things bother me? I have a girlfriend that loves me deeply. My whole family is healthy and happy. I am an engineer. Most people would love to have a job that pays as well as mine out of college. But I want more. Why? Why can't I just be happy. It's money. I know it now. Money is said to be the root of all evil, but for me it is just the root of my sadness.

things go bad and then get better

On Tuesday evening I come home from work to find my motorcycle tipped over and leaking antifreeze. So I called my insurance and the police to make a claim. When the police officer begins to leave the parking lot I look over at the driver's side fender of my truck and notice that there is some pretty major damage there. And at that time I remember how my truck was "squeeking" when I turned a low speeds. So I filed a second police report for a hit and run on my truck the night before. I couldn't believe that I had two insurance deductibles to pay all at once now!

The week went on and I found out that the hit and run caused over $3000 in damage with over $1200 damage to my suspension alone. The guy really must've wacked my truck hard. I also get a call stating that my motorcycle will be filed as a total loss since its value is less than the cost of repairs. Now this may sound bad, but think about it. This means the insurance will give me money for the value of my bike minus my deductible! My deductible for my truck is paid for!!!! I will miss having a bike, but really I need the cash more and I wanted to get a new bike next year anyway. If I have the cash, I will do that.

Then on Friday I worked until midnight. The whole day I was disturbed by my boss repeatedly for status updates. I work faster than 9/10 of my co-workers on SW builds and I really didn't appreciate the constant pestering. I understand he was only bugging me because his manager was bugging him for updates constantly. That still didn't stop me from getting annoyed and giving him overly verbose updates just so he'd get off my back :P Anyway I told him that I was going to dinner and if he needed the build finished when I was away that he could have somebody else start where I left off. And I think by this time he had noticed that I was giving him such up-to-the minute updates because I was frustrated because he replied saying that my work was really appreciated and that I could hand over the build if I wanted to. But that wasn't the part worth writing home about. He told me that because of my hard work, he had given me a BRAVO award and bonus. This award is given to people who go above and beyond their job description and I don't think that many people are getting this award in such a tough time for the company. So this really made my day. The award gets put in my permanent file as well so this will help me career-wise when I am looking for a promotion or to negotiate a raise. This is really the best thing to happen to me at work. So things did get better, all around.

Seattle

I'm in Seattle for work and I've already relived one of my wonderful food memories I have been wishing to have again. Last night I ate at Typhoon, a Thai restaurant. I had the Royal Duck with a sweet red curry sauce. It was the best. And for only $17 it was even more scrumptious! Last time I was there in 2006 I ate dish with scallops and shrimp in Chinese dumplings in a green curry sauce on a bed of fried spinach. I loved that meal too. I hope I can make it there again before I leave.

The Embassy Suites is friggin awesome. They have an upgraded exercise room where all the treadmills and ellipticals have their own LCD TVs! Last time I was there I was disappointed by the two old treadmills and rusty weights. Now they have 3 plus 2 ellipticals, and a couple bikes! The complimentary cooked to order breakfast really can't be beat. And if you are on the ambassador floor you get extra snacks, free internet, and the drinks in the mini fridge are also free!

It's in the 40s/50s here but everything is green and there are flowers everywhere. So it feels more like spring than home does. I am looking forward to going around taking pictures this weekend. It'll be a blast!

It's my birthday

And today is looking to be a great day. Already I got a surprise when Kristin stopped by to say hi before I went to work. And my co-workers like the cookies I made. It's a company tradition to bring treats on your birthday (I think it was a corporate cost cutting measure ;) I get free lunch from my co-workers today, and then I'll be getting a free dinner tonight. Wohooo! I love being rewarded for doing nothing but being alive!

David Beckham to visit the office

So on Monday David Beckham is coming to our office to say hi and talk about who knows what or maybe just stand there and look pretty. Well pretty to whoever would find such a guy pretty, I'd much rather stare at his wife, but whatever :P Anyway, I have normally been ignoring the "buzz" emails about our company in ads and what we sponsor, but I realized that they actually have famous people come to the office these days, so now I actually read them. I went to see Danica Patrick when she came to talk about her racing style and how much she loves us for throwing money her way. Well because I am a guy, I decided to go and see if she was as good looking as the poster in my cube. Well from 200 feet away, she looked great and I have proof, look!


ok ok, so the picture is a little small and that could be any burnette with that resolution and blur, but think of it like a big foot sighting or the lockness monster. You just can't get a good shot off when you need to... and cameras are banned from the office, luckily we make camera phones so everybody can use them.

Productive at work

I've been super productive at work this week. It's great having a job where you actually have to use your brain every once in awhile. I got to fix some bugs in a SW program that we're working on. You know, programming may not be my dream job, but I forgot how much better work is when you have to think just a little bit. I'm already satisfied with my new job! Now if only I could find a house to live in that I actually was impressed with when I went to the showing!

More reasons I am glad I switched

...teams.

My old manager is taking everything back including accessories that I'd need to perform my job! So I have to order all new things. Here's the kicker. They're charging the same dept for the new parts I just ordered. there's some real un-telligence going on here....

Me [12:01 PM]:
Hi, do you know who I'd contact to get new phone chargers and cables? My old team wants all of this back so I'll need to get new ones
New Team Admin [12:03 PM]:
They can be ordered off of Tigers, or maybe someone from our Validation team has extras.
Me [12:05 PM]:
well since I'm still listed under the old Manager, the bill would go to him at the moment, and thats why he wants me to give my accessories back. So would you be able to order them from Tigers so that I have them when I start? Or will I have to wait until I start to begin getting these items?
New Team Admin [12:06 PM]:
Do you have the part numbers, or the name of the exact items you want (part number would be preferrable, it's easier to find in Tigers)?
Me [12:08 PM]:
for charger #1 FMP5202A
Me [12:08 PM]:
charger #2 PSM5202A
New Team Admin [12:08 PM]:
anything else?
New Team Admin [12:08 PM]:
do you only need 1 of each?
Me [12:09 PM]:
well I only need one, but I'd like to have 2 of charger #1 so I can charge the micro USB phones from home
Me [12:10 PM]:
I already have a mini USB charger at home that I purchased myself
Me [12:10 PM]:
and I would need a micro USB cable to connect to the PC... only one... SKN6238A
New Team Admin [12:11 PM]:
Ok. When I order it, it will have to be approved by Dawn who is traveling to Turin today. Hopefully she will approve it this week. Either way it won't be here when you come in tomorrow.
New Team Admin [12:12 PM]:
Does the old Manager realize that the same dept will be charged? It would be easier if he could approve it.
Me [12:12 PM]:
I'm sure he realizes this, but I don't think I have the power to assert this point
Me [12:12 PM]:
same deal with the SIM card issue
New Team Admin [12:12 PM]:
ok
New Team Admin [12:12 PM]:
Got it.
New Team Admin [12:12 PM]:
alright, I'll order it.
New Team Admin [12:13 PM]:
You'll be without one when you come here tomorrow.
New Team Admin [12:13 PM]:
Let me talk to our validation managers and see if they have any extra, until your order comes in.
Me [12:13 PM]:
I hope they'll at least let me keep the items until my official start date for your team on oct 1
New Team Admin [12:13 PM]:
Let me see if the validation team has any to hold you over.
Me [12:14 PM]:
ok thanks a lot!

Work sucks

...like a pool pump sucks away unsuspecting children's intestines. If you didn't know, there have been many cases of pool pumps sucking out kids' intestines when they sit on the intake at the bottom of a pool. Now you may think this is graphic, but work makes me feel like I am in an abusive relationship and I just keep taking one hit after another.

I got hired almost 2 years ago. They took well over 18 months to give me my first inflationary 3% raise. So technically, I'm still making less than I did last year because my bills for the same apartment and electricity are still about $50 more a month than my raise. Go team! Anyway, you'd think that when your manager says you're on track for a promotion and that your hard work has been recognized means that you will get to reap the benefits of your hard work, right? Not with this company. Those who know me know that our company is having financial difficulties at the moment and this is no fault of mine. However, because of this my promotion, and well-deserved raise has been delayed indefinitely. You typically get this first promotion a year to a year and a half after you've been hired. Now remember, it's already been almost 2 years for me.

So in utter dissatisfaction with my job, co-workers, and company outlook. I have been looking for other jobs. So far I haven't been able to line anything up outside of this company but there is a small glimmer of light because there is now an opening in the first team I interned for. This job would actually allow me to use my brain and I like the team members. Unlike me normally, I actually made it a point to keep in touch. So that appears to be working to my advantage. But to make this another negative, my manager asks me to come to his cube today and he asks me to think and make sure I'm making the move for the right reasons... Is he trying to guilt me here? He said that the grass is always greener on the other side and I told him that i knew that I would most likely have to work late some Fridays and be "on call" every 4th weekend. But since I dislike my current position so much and the team mentality makes me want to trow up, I'd gladly take these negative aspects if it meant I wouldn't have to avoid certain team members because they depress me and that I'd actually be able to use my problem solving skills to write scripts. I just can't believe my manager tried to guilt me like that. Maybe he did that because he realizes that I'm a better employee than some of my other teammates, but still. That just makes me feel even worse.

asi es la vida

I now have 3 SIM cards, 2 for work and one personal. My new work SIM has 3G internet enabled and I did a bandwidth test yesterday and got 700kbit/second download speeds. I am very excited about that because now when my regular internet dies, it won't even phase me. I'll just hook my phone up via Bluetooh or USB (for faster downloads). It works like a charm too.

The last intern left today, she gave me 5 cookies. I ate all of them. I wish everybody would suck up to me like that... I also stole her badge clip because mine was almost broken. I almost feel like I just robbed the grave of somebody because she just left and all and I'm already picking over her things. I didn't talk to the interns that much, but today I was reminded again about how much of my life has passed and how much I miss college life. If I could take their place I would. What's the rush in life?

I made an offer on a lot to build a house on today. My Realtor expects that they'll give me a counter-offer because mine was low. We'll see. I hope they just need money badly so they'll accept anything. The lot has been on the market for awhile and they are also selling their house, so I think that I'm in a good position. We'll see, we'll see. Nevertheless I'm taking my first step (again) towards building a house and I hope this time it'll all work out!

Oh those interns

Today, they made their own fake news bulletin. (click the image to read)

Happy Camper

I now have 24 bratwurst waiting for me in the ISU MEATS lab freezer. I will soon be reunited with a long lost college love. [tears up] Now all I have to do is figure out how to eat a West Street Deli sandwich, chicken wings and cheese bread all in the span of about 3 hours and I'll be set!

I think I'm also going to stop by the good ol ECSS office and say hi to my former co-workers. Of course every single student that I worked with will be gone, and that is sad, but I'll still have the memories. They can never take away my memories.

I brought a ton of peanut butter cookies into work today. I haven't sent out a mass email though because I don't want people making a mess in my cube. I'll put the cookies out in one of the main asiles around 11 after Tony comes in because he gets first dibs for helping fix my TV problem.

Working from home

Let me tell you, working from home is great! Because nobody stops by your cube to bug you, you have the opportunity to work much more efficiently! After getting all of my work done I had the best cookie dough milkshake ever with Kristin. Oberweis ice cream may have milk fat added, but dang it tastes good! Fat is delicious!!!! I know I'm gonna have a major craving for it again but I'm going to have to work hard to resist.

Back when I used to work designing web pages back in high school I got adicted to cheese cake ice cream milk shakes. I had one at least twice a week. I gained 10 lbs that summer! It was crazy! So I guess you could say that milkshakes are my weakness. They taste sooooo good. And I can drink so much w/o ever feeling full for some reason! I even have a method of drinking milkshake followed by water to make more room. That's just how much I've drank at one time! mmmmm.

bad coworker...

From: co-worker
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2007 9:56 PM
To: Boss-type
Cc: Me; co-worker
Subject: Phone Consumer Trial


Sarah,

I got as much finished with the Consumer trials today/tonight as I could. There are 66 incidents left that need to be moved. I'm sorry I couldn't finished. [Me] was supposed to have been helping me and I'm not sure what happened. I had been trying to get in touch with him since about 2:30 and wasn't able to reach him, so I'm not sure what happened. I'll jump on this again first thing in the morning.

co-worker
UT Lead

First, She asked me to help out that day at 10AM, I moved about 10% between my other work because she never told me that there was a Friday morning deadline. She also neglected to mention while assigning blame that she had been sitting on those aforementioned incidents since July 3. She said she contacted me at 2:30 but it was really past 3:30 because I was only away from my desk 3:30-4:30. The only thing she didn't lie about was the fact that she tried to contact me multiple times. She IM'd me at 3:30, called my desk and cell phone at 4:00 and I came back at 4:30 and she was already out of the office.... boy that was some high priority stuff if she had to leave the ofice at 4:30... She left a message asking if I was going to finish it up last night... Finish up the work she should've finished earlier... The next morning, I IM'd her...

Me[10:12 AM]:
regarding the whole consumer trial confusion
Me[10:12 AM]:
I apologize my cell phone was off because i forgot to turn it back on after changing the sim yesterday afternoon
Me[10:13 AM]:
I saw the vmail notice on my desk phone this morning
Me[10:14 AM]:
I know you're busy, but please instead of putting the blame on others who were just assigned the work that day when incidents had been sitting around since the third of July, please try to avoid blaming others. That really made me look bad, but I didn't even know things were sitting around for so long or that the deadline was this morning exept in your voicemails.
Me[10:17 AM]:
After applying my full concentration it only took me 2 hours to move 75% of the incidents. I am not sure why more didnt get moved from July 3-19
co-worker[10:22 AM]:
no, IM isn't broken, I was working with Anastasia. she was in my cube.
co-worker[10:23 AM]:
I didn't blame you. You need to reread the email. I simply said I didn't know what was going on with you because I coudln't get a hold of you.
Me[10:24 AM]:
"[Me] was supposed to have been helping me and I'm not sure what happened."? that's not blaming me?
co-worker[10:24 AM]:
more didn't get moved prior because I've been working on 10 different things at once. I picked away at it. And I starte4d with 200 and got it down to 66 yesterday, so please don't think I left you do it all. I was working on it all day yesterday as well.
co-worker[10:24 AM]:
no, that's not blaming you.
co-worker[10:24 AM]:
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Me[10:25 AM]:
sounds like it to me, and the other people who read the email.... If they took it like blaming me, Sarah could easily take it that way too
Me[10:25 AM]:
it's not just me
co-worker[10:25 AM]:
Sarah needed to know why it wasn't all finished by this morning.
Me[10:26 AM]:
and I was the reason
Me[10:26 AM]:
accoring to that sentence
co-worker[10:26 AM]:
I told you to make it your number 1 priority, did I not?
Me[10:26 AM]:
right, still blaming me
co-worker[10:26 AM]:
again, i'm sorry you feel that way.
Me[10:27 AM]:
....If you needed this done, you should've been up front and told me they all needed to be moved by friday morning in the first place. I had planned on finishing them all during the day this morning because there weren't that many. And I did get them done. In 2 hours.
co-worker[10:28 AM]:
I told you to make it your number 1 priority. I didn't tell you to do it by Friday morning because I knew I'd be finishing it up last night.
co-worker[10:29 AM]:
I didn't think it was fair to ask you to do it all, nor did I think you'd have the time.
co-worker[10:29 AM]:
you got them done in 2 hours because I moved 130 yesterday.
Me[10:30 AM]:
I moved about 60 in 2 hours. They had been sitting as early as july 3. I'm glad you moved 130 on July 19.
Me[10:31 AM]:
I know you're not going to reword what you said in the email or make it seem like the blame isn't mostly mine as it appears in the email so the damage is done
Me[10:31 AM]:
the work is done now
co-worker[10:31 AM]:
FYI, Sarah didn't say she wanted them moved to defects until last Friday, and intern stuff blew up along with other UT stuff this week. That'w why nothing was moved over until yesterday.
co-worker[10:32 AM]:
Feel free to let Sarah know how you feel. I unfortunately don't have time to argue about this any more as there are other things I need to get done.
co-worker[10:32 AM]:
If you want to talk about this further, please schedule a meeting for Monday.
Me[10:32 AM]:
I'm done, don't assign blame recklessly

So she didn't tell me to finish everything by Friday, but in the email she was clearly blaming me for not doing enough as why it wasn't done by Friday? That hardly seems logical. If she wanted it done by Friday she should've said something or done something on her own from July 3-19...

I sent an email to my manager because what she did and her lack of accountability is completely unacceptable. Unfortunately, my manager is out of the office until Aug 1.

Last Weekend (and Monday)

I had a pretty fun-filled weekend and I really enjoyed it. On Friday, I went hot tubbin' I still can't believe I didn't know there was a spa in the club house all this time... I'm gonna use that thing like all the time now!

Saturday was a very busy day. I woke up at the crack of dawn.... well 7AM... so that I could get to the DMV to have class M added to my license. However, I was planning on going up with Kristin, but when she came over that morning, she forgot her course completion certificate (that you need to waive the written and riding test) so I decided that I'd just go on Monday. In the afternoon, Kristin, her sister, and I went to Lynfred Winery for a tasting and a tour. They gave us a lot of wine, and at first I was trying to drink it all, but eventually I asked for less in the glass. Kristin and her sister asked for a lot less after their first "samples." It was pretty fun though. After the winery, we needed to walk off all that wine so Kristin and I went to the local nature center and park and I explained the finer subtleties of milkweed and Kristin told me all about the park. After the enlightening walk, we both went to church and then met up with the church's youth/young adult group for a BBQ. Everybody was nice, but it seemed like everybody was just too nice and it made me a bit uncomfortable. I like it when people don't act all fake. Who knows maybe they're all just genuinely nice. I'm just not used to that.

2008 Chevrolet Camaro

But the day wasn't over! Next we went to see the Transformers movie. It made me want to buy the new 2009/2008 Camaro instead of the new 2008 Challenger. GM is doing a much better job keeping the Camaro on people's minds than Chrysler is with the Challenger. Chrysler is keeping the Challenger development pretty secret and most consumers know just about nothing about the thing except to expect only a high-end SRT version the first year and have the regular models come out the second year. Nobody even knows for sure if a manual transmission will be offered on the base models. If they don't that'd be sad and I think a lot of people would be upset that it was not an option on a powerful sports coupe. The Camaro will definitely have a manual option, which is what I'd get if I bought a sports car. If you can't handle the manual, you don't deserve to have a sports car :P But back to the movie, It was very action packed and it made me remember my childhood days. Kristin was right about it though, it was a guy movie. I'm glad she came anyway.

After all that fun on Saturday, I relaxed in the morning on Sunday and then Kristin and I went to a wave pool in the area and we relaxed for at least 4 hours. I have sunburn! I put tanning lotion on my lower arms, face and neck because those are the only tan parts of my body, so none of that is burnt, but I have a red patch on my body that looks like I was wearing a sizzling hot t-shirt. It's fun! After that, we went on a long bike ride around the area and we raced and Kristin won. Shhh don't tell anybody.

I missed lunch technically because we went to the water park around 12:00. So I was hungry at about 5:00. We decided to go to Bahama Breeze and eat some Caribbean food. I had the jerk chicken pasta and Kristin had a Cuban sandwich. I wasn't too impressed with either however. I could not taste any jerk flavoring on my chicken because it was sliced almost deli-style. But the food definitely had a good flavor. I just wanted jerk-flavor! Kristin's Cuban, seemed American, with it's salami and lettuce and tomatoes. It had plain mustard on it too, which I'm not a big fan of. I blame my dad for forcing us to eat it on our sandwiches as children! I love brown, spicy, honey, Dijon, and about any other mustard, just not the plain. After the restaurant we watched Arachnophobia. It was not as exciting as I had hoped it would be. By today's standards the movie was very slow and not very suspenseful. It really is amazing how much movies have changed since 1990. Back then, people thought that movie was awesome.

Since I didn't get my license on Saturday I decided to wake up at 6AM on Monday to make it to the DMV at 8AM. I thought I had read that they opened at 8AM. Well, they do on Wed-Sat. But after arriving at 7:40, I find that they are closed on Monday and they open at 9AM on Tuesday! So I still don't have my license. But I plan on going around lunch and getting it done for sure!

At work, they are starting to force people to get their new ID badges. I was trying to let mine completely fall apart before I got my new vertical-oriented badge. I mean it was only half peeled and the clip was holding together pretty well with tape. It still had a lot of life left in it! But now I like the new badge because it is all pristine and not warped or peeling :)

Work

Motorola S9

Work's been better than average the past 2 weeks or so. I got 2 cool new prototype phones that I could actually see myself using. That means that they will sell well, because I'm the final word of what's cool Everybody knows that! I also got a cool S9 Bluetooth stereo headset. Too bad Windows is too stupid to figure out how to use it. BT on windows can be a real bear to handle sometimes because each PC manufacturer seems to include their own variants of BT software/drivers and it is not very standardized. Maybe this is all fixed in Vista, but I don't know. My PDA is also too stupid to use the headset, boo! At least it works with cell phones! I bet it'll work with my Mac too. I have faith in Apple.

I also talked to my boss and he says that I'm on track for a promotion. This is good news because I had been thinking they'd forgotten about me. So this week I am not at all in a bad mood. Yesterday evening, a little bit, but the reasons for that are too complicated for me to type out today :P But really, life is good!

Meet the interns

So apparently I'm going to mentor one of the four interns for our team. Well that's great because I totally am bogged down with my 30 min of daily work. I swear I can't tell how old kids are these days because I could've sworn they looked my age. However, they are all high school graduates. So I think I am starting to get the old man syndrome where I think I look younger than I really do.

Another weird thing is that none of the interns look like computer-types. They look like the cooler crowd or at least non-geek crowd. I miss the good ol-days where I was surrounded by a bunch of nerds in high school. Also 2/4 of the interns are females, and there was definitely not a 50% male to female ratio in my school. Times are changing, and for an old dog like me, I think it's time to throw in the towel and start yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Old Man Gripes:

1. Kids these days need to eat more
   
2. What ever happened to the good ol' nerd engineer?
   
3. Those interns are all making too much for their age
   
4. GET OFF MY LAWN
   

time doesnt fly

Work is boring. I love having a job and all and I wouldn't want to get laid off with all the layoffs going on now. but why does work have to be so repetitive? I mean, I went to college and challenged my brain on a daily basis, but it seems most entry-level jobs force you to do the same mind numbing tasks over and over. Why do you have to work so hard in college if you'll never use most of what you learned or your brain ever again? It's really a sad thought, and I wonder how many other people just do their jobs because it pays the bills, but they feel their brain dies a little every day they go to work.

I need to be challenged. I need to find a position that challenges me more often than not. I really don't care if it is what I studied in college. I could become a real-estate investor for all I cared. As long as I'd have to use my creativity and mental abilities to get the job done. That's all that I ask for. Let me use my brain!

Similar co-workers

?

There are these 2 ladies that work in my area that look very similar, and I swear both of them are marketing too. I work with one of them whose name I know. The other one I have never talked to, but accidentally I started smiling and saying "hi" in the halway to the other one because I didn't realize they were 2 different people... and today I ran into one of them and said "hi" and she asked how it was going.... and I said "good..." but I didnt know what else to say because I don't know if thats the one I work with or not!!!!! I was telling Kristin earlier that before I realized that they were both two different people, I had kept thinking that some days this one person I worked with looked slightly different. I couldn't put my finger on it. Thats when it all started. I really have no idea who the other person is.